the rant

A Journal from the Point of No Return : A Continuing Travelogue

Entry #2 The Spider in my Head
2:59 AM 4/1/2007

I had a spider in my head.. it was actually in my hair and on my head.. it was small, had eight legs, you know the basic stuff any little spider can have.. and oh! he really doesnt do anything; catches up with his friends and comes back.. does a bit of work for his food like spinning webs for others.. come to think of it.. he loved when i called him a web designer.. ahem.. ok.. back to topic.. so one fine day.. there I was, reading upon some ol’ c, while this guy just drops down and says.. hello old chap, could you stop thinking for a while its mighty hot up there you know.. Wtf!? now now, no need to get angry about it old boy.. old boy? who you calling old spiderboy!! see, now that kind of attitude is not going to get you anywhere.. now i have an attitude problem?! erm.. and a hot head, so please keep it simple.. and poof the guy disappears.. can you believe that!! what nerve!! hmmm.. does spiders have nerves?

That was last week, the day i found out that i had a spider living on my head..

I met him on my keyboard last night as well.. he looked old and worried.. hmmm.. and i had a long chat with him too.. you see its not everyday that you get to talk to spiders..

He started by telling me that he will be dying soon.. that his life in retrospect has already flashed infront of his eyes and hence had come to the conclusion that his life must end now.. now.. now? how soon is now? hmmm.. the eyes; all of them were lit like small tv screens on a wall, he crawled upto my nose and found a spot to sit down.. the tv’s on the wall flickered and static faded away into forms.. my eyes tried hard to focus.. the reception clearer now.. i watched him work, pray, play, eat, live and die.. the short movie titled futility.. the smile on his face all knowing.. has it occurred to you that you might be wrong, i asked him.. and he told me that he was too old to be wrong.. hmmm.. that needed some consideration; maybe later.. why did you call it futility? i have tried and i have failed and hence it is futile.. but at least i have tried.. yes you have.. is it time? are you in a hurry? no, im not.. then its not time yet.. hmmm..

*2 minutes later*

is it time? all his eyes blinked.. yes it is.. and he slowly crawled up my eyebrows and across my forehead into my hair..

The wailing came from all around.. flies circled around my head.. it has happend.. he has died.. I shall mourn him.. I shall remember him.. I shall shampoo my hair tonight..

A Journal from the Point of No Return : A Continuing Travelogue

Entry #1 The Shoe box
8:35 PM 3/30/2007

Till now I had a feeling that I won’t be writing; apparently I proved myself wrong again *pats myself on the back* no, it was not laziness.. but a lack of that strange liquid inside your brain called *****. Well!! come on?! you really think im going to tell you what its called?

ok.. on with the tale.. so then what happens? im teleported to the point of no return!! now let me tell you something about this place.. its one of those places that you dread the most!! the kind of place with things you want and things that will keep you asking for more.. the kind of a place that will not satisfy you ever!! its like the infernal carrot hanging in front you.. what kind of people live there? There!! (the place smelled) I met a lot of old them old time writers and a lot of young ones lacking the same slimy liquid you see.. and a lot of other people who’s identities i was asked to withhold.. and just for your information.. it was not my kind of a place.. it lacked something.. it lacked soul.. so i left.. soul searching they said.. bah.. like i cared..

and so i left.. i traveled southward from the point of no return.. ( you see, before i left a long time ago.. my parents had warned me about this place.. the place that has taken many a soul and but you see.. i was young then ( no im not implying that im old now damn it!! ) and a bit careless, just telling you this to let you know.. the actual story will take more than the time i have here to complete so i will just fill in little details whenever i really can.. or whenever i care.. ) and so i left.. i traveled southward from the point of no return.. the road took me all the way to Trivandrum.. which was the capital city of reasonably large state called Kerala.. and I hope to your god that you know Im in India.. ( if you don’t, then I am!! )

now; the usual first week of comfortablenesses with everyone and everything passes without much trouble.. but the slowness of this place hit me like a cliche the time i crossed the borders of this limbo land.. pretty much everything seems to be moving in bullet time here..

I was not the kind of person to be gloomy.. aw right aw right.. i am.. so what.. and im not so happy about it too.. well.. if its not gloom, its some kinda of weird unhappy cloud that stick around where ever i seem to go.. i call it the cloud of despair.. ( i am grinning.. very widely.. very widely indeed ) well ok but thats me.. when i am with you its ok.. really see here i am telling you about all these crazy things and im not sad or “gloomy” ( again a small grin ) so many people know my happy side and the sad side is reserved for me alone.. now why did i bring it up? well.. you see ive been trying to rid my self of the cloud and in my run around the house i bumped into this huge closet on the wall, which used to be much bigger.. hmmm.. i have grown!! or it has shrunk!! could it have really shrunk? hmmm.. what lies behind the veils of darkness? an old shoe box!! well.. there goes the build up.. so it was a shoe box.. the shoe box of.. erm.. of.. ( think man think!! ) the shoe box of memories ( oh boy.. thats original ).. and there it was.. with its torn edges and faded colors.. a box full of

now.. where did everyone go.. ? i mean.. what was it that he said.. being around forever and all that loving forever and all? huh? tell me that?!

aah not again.. saying is one thing and doing is another and you think that after two years.. wait.. make that a year.. no make that a month.. people remain the same? well wake up and smell the acid~! it ain’t how life is.. life is..

will you guys keep it down.. im trying to write here!! jeez.. can u believe them.. that just crawled all over my gutters and white spaces.. now where was I.. aah yes.. the shoe box.. it was just full of old stuff.. from letters to photos to things that just got accumulated.. gifts and what not.. opening a box and looking at stuff, if only it was that easy.. the floodgates in your head is harder to close.. than a little shoe box.

The Cat and I

Something that i wrote.. when sm1 asked me to do smthing else :P well.. go figure :) you can also find the same at dA – ( http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46310917/ )

::edit:: -> minor changes.. even to the title :P

The Cat and I

d : so cat, what do you think?
c : its nice..
d : nice? is that all?
c : erm.. well, there is more..
d : well go on then..
c : its been a while since i did this you know.. im a bit rusty..
d : thats quite all right.. just go on..
c : well.. its been a while since ive seen you and i know a lot has changed.. but
d : hmm..
c : but..
the truth is..
im still looking for you.
the more i look, the more i get lost in you..
the more im lost, the more i need you..
your crooked smile, your shiny skin,
your twisted mane,
your coal black eyes..
Had they seen me before?
No. they never cared..

but..
the truth is..
im still looking for you.
the more i look, the more i get lost in you..
the more im lost, the more i need you..
our tails tell different tales,
and they were never meant to be..
but..
the truth is..
I look for you no more,
‘cos i have found you
in me.